Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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