I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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