I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize