They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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