there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
