That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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