I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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