even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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