That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
