Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
