I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
