do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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