i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize