Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
