The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
