Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this boner is exhausting
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
