Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
