Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
