i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
