i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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