Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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