it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
