I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
