I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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