That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
