She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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