Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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