Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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