Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize