your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
