New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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