I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
