: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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