I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
