i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Randomize
