I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
