When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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