you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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