can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
