My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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