Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize