omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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