My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
