Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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