I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
