I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize