I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
