i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
