Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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