Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
