did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Someone shit on the floor
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
