was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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