Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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