i will never coherently bang her
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i out mim tonsoeep
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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