You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
