I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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