the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
