I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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