ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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