That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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