Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
