Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
