There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I look better un-naked...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
