Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
