Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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