loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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