Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

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  (617): there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store http://tfl.nu/cjt7
  Replies (23) Good night (10407) Bad night (715)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.

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  (314): shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to. http://tfl.nu/ryqs
  Replies (9) Good night (4391) Bad night (1607)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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  (740): she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse http://tfl.nu/30t8
  Replies (14) Good night (4750) Bad night (1044)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.

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  (734): Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props. http://tfl.nu/gfig
  Replies (8) Good night (2737) Bad night (791)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night

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  (435): Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night http://tfl.nu/xeqd
  Replies (19) Good night (1851) Bad night (1144)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.

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  (253): There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs. http://tfl.nu/3p74
  Replies (22) Good night (5240) Bad night (742)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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  (928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz
  Replies (29) Good night (3425) Bad night (624)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  im coming over

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  (269): Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry (1-269): im coming over http://tfl.nu/72kd
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (510)
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  (+69): View more from

  You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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  (+69): You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow. http://tfl.nu/jkt0
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (1978)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  successful birthday. 2012 rules

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  (843): dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance.. (1-843): successful birthday. 2012 rules http://tfl.nu/1z4y
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (1048)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"

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  (403): I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!" http://tfl.nu/cbkk
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (552)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

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  (860): I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon http://tfl.nu/xq47
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow

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  (908): Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow http://tfl.nu/q4cz
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (222)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

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  (202): She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning. http://tfl.nu/4ygc
  Replies (9) Good night (1237) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...

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  (847): He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose... http://tfl.nu/uj3n
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (340)

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