Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.