Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?

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  (231): At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive? http://tfl.nu/xcbd
  Replies (14) Good night (3651) Bad night (809)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.

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  (630): I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing. http://tfl.nu/6g2i
  Replies (17) Good night (1269) Bad night (3916)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.

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  (402): She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking. http://tfl.nu/91x5
  Replies (17) Good night (1865) Bad night (5508)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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  (580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v
  Replies (14) Good night (784) Bad night (1698)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...

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  (514): We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one... http://tfl.nu/kexj
  Replies (11) Good night (2822) Bad night (773)
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  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1513) Bad night (745)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.

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  (512): Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate. http://tfl.nu/mywp
  Replies (5) Good night (552) Bad night (411)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

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  (816): Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7 http://tfl.nu/lqxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (320)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.

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  (570): Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends. http://tfl.nu/utpt
  Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (818)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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  (479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp
  Replies (9) Good night (927) Bad night (422)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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  (416): The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won. http://tfl.nu/zzwg
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (295)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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  (603): Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people? http://tfl.nu/67j9
  Replies (13) Good night (376) Bad night (790)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner

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  (608): I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner http://tfl.nu/zwav
  Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (291)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...

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  (407): We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup... http://tfl.nu/u3jq
  Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (709)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic

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  (702): Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic http://tfl.nu/uomd
  Replies (0) Good night (259) Bad night (373)

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