I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here