Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
